That indescribable feeling when the one you've always wanted seems out of reach.....
When all you ever wanted is for him to show concern and affection and he seems..... stoic ugh!!
Why do I have to let things be this complicated when I know of ways to make them much more simple and easy to deal with?!
I know he loves me so much. I know he cares for me. I believe he wants us to be together for life. I believe he would do everything to keep me satisfied. I know he wants me to stay by his side always. I know he would love to make me smile. I know I still matter to him. I know of these things but I'm afraid that I'm losing faith on us simply because, I don't feel cared and yes, I don't feel loved. All this time, I've been making myself believe that he loves me. Whenever I feel like things are going wrong, I don't feel like he's willing to settle things right away. Worse, I don't feel like he cares at all, I feel ignored. I hate it when he makes me feel like I'm not a priority and he got lots of things to accomplish and lots of persons to deal with before me.
There's nothing wrong in setting priorities. But what makes it annoying is the fact that I know he has extra time for some other totally unimportant things when I know sending a text message won't take significant number of minutes. I don't demand for 24 hours a day. I don't want all his attention. I don't ask for text messages everytime. All I want is for him to be accessible when I need him, for him to be there at least as a friend.
Nuff said. I don't really need to rant about these random thoughts for so long.
I just wanted the bad vibes out.
Nyway, enjoy the day, have fun!!:)
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